Shame In You
by Morphine Dementia
Summary: Lavi's troublemaking earns him and Kanda a punishment of laundry duty. And if there's something Kanda won't let Lavi to get away with, it's staring at Lenalee's dirty underwear. KandaLavi, Yuvi, yaoi, part-crack. For the LaviYu day.


**AN:** Happy LaviYu Day! This be celebration crack! Tis be a cracksmutfic of sorts, so don't expect detail. :'D Lavi and Kanda are already lovers from before the beginning in this fic. Also it's a little rushed, but it came out more or less how I planned. Hehe Juljul, a deal is a deal, this is my second fic for this day, so now you're gonna call me a genius. 8D

Also, I've checked and saw that washing machines - well, of course, different from what we have now - first appeared in 1752. So they definitely exist in DGM. : D

**Summary/About:** Lavi's troublemaking earns him and Kanda a punishment of laundry duty. And if there's something Kanda won't let Lavi to get away with, it's staring at Lenalee's underwear. Kanda/Lavi.

**Warnings: **Language, undies, non-explicit mansex.

**Disclaimer:** -Man and the characters belong to Katsura Hoshino. Title from song by Alice In Chains.

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_**SHAME IN YOU**_

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This had to be the last time Kanda had agreed to playfight Lavi.

"It's all your fault," he growled as he dragged a box full of laundry towards the mechanical washing machine. The box reeked of Moyashi from a distance, and he unceremoniously dumped it halfway to the destination.

"If ya'd like better to drive this damn thing to work, just tell," Lavi whined as he turned the handle once more and dramatically slumped on the floor. "I'm beat."

Kanda snorted silently, walked over to Lavi and kicked him. "It's nothing compared to how beat you will be if we don't finish this soon," he stated. A day more here, and he was going to puke all over the fucking undies. This had to be the most disgraceful job he was ever dumped with - INCLUDING the kitchen duty where he had to wear an apron and Lavi nearly fucked him on the counter in the evening. Thank god for Jerry's awesome frying pans.

It really was all Lavi's fault now, really. They were just...sparring of sorts, when the redhead decided he'd book it and ran, eventually leading Kanda into a very primitive trap which included lots of goo; unfortunately there were more people passing by at the moment and... Yeah. No one but Lavi found it funny. And unfortunately, Kanda was, supposedly, his accomplice. They had to repay the damage and do the whole washing load of the Order. And that definitely and positively sucked.

::

"Ah, what do we have here?" Lavi called our with a suspicious kind of refreshment after half an hour of dragging laundry towards the machine. "Would you look at that, Yu?"

Just what could be so great about a pile of stinking laundry? Kanda grudgingly raised his eyes to look at the redhead - and froze. Bookman Junior was holding up what looked like a white laced bra right in front of his face, a small wry smile on his face.

"Put it back," Kanda hissed, turning away. The fuck, he had honour, he was not looking at women's underwear. It was _so_ against the samurai code that it hurt. But Lavi apparently thought otherwise, and it made the Japanese even madder. How the hell did he fall for someone who thought someone else's dirty underwear was this exciting? ..Well, at least it wasn't Beansprout's; or Kanda would have had to make a kill to make sure Lavi doesn't wander away with someone else. Wait, this was way, way overthinking things. So not like him.

The redhead pouted and did as told, but the next moment he was holding up panties which were decorated in exactly the same way. "Oh my," he said, his smirk widening twice.

The samurai kept looking away. Those could be anyone's, right? "Shame in you, Lavi," he hissed, trying to keep himself as threateningly polite as possible. "I said-"

"Hm, the initials say 'L.L.'," Lavi drawled happily. "Wanna bet it belongs to-"

He didn't manage to say anything else as Kanda's fist collided with the side of his face. "Put these down NOW," the samurai growled, looking both mad and embarrassed. Back in the day when it was a threat, he had actually helped Komui to keep Lavi as far away from Lenalee as possible. At first he was protective, then he was jealous, and now it was a strange mix of both. Lavi, no matter how much of a pervert or nuisance, was his.

And no one, absolutely _no one _had the right to look or even less to _touch_ Lenalee's underwear, not in a million years. _Especially_ not Lavi.

"What was that for?" Lavi complained, rubbing his sore cheek, however he did put the panties back on top of the laundry pile. He was now sitting in it, looking as miserable as he could manage.

Kanda twitched heavily. "Don't you have any respect?" he practically screamed at the redhead. This was unbelievable. "Any shame? What the hell is up with you?"

Lavi didn't seem to listen. "Sheesh, Yu, you're so violent.." he whined.

"That's nothing compared to what you'll be getting if you don't shut _the fuck _up _right now_."

Lavi sighed sadly. His boyfriend had just beaten him up for looking at his 'sister's' underwear and now hated him. Well, about the same of always... The redhead almost considered getting back to work when he realized just how comfortable the clothes pile was, and an idea blinked in his head. "Hey, Yu."

Kanda was already at the machine again and turned back grudgingly. "You're still relaxing? Get your ass here."

"Come here, Yu." Lavi was laying in the pile of the laundry, looking at Kanda with an expression that clearly-

Oh shit.

::

This was too much. Nightmarically disgraceful environment, _and_ it was turning Lavi on.

"Go to hell," Kanda replied kindly, turning his back to the redhead again. He wasn't some kind of a dog who'd run once being called. "I don't understand what's up-"

"What's _up_ indeed," Lavi cooed in the most seductive tone he could muster. Kanda twitched, he couldn't work like this; he _needed_ to go and hit the redhead again, like, NOW. So he did just that, what meant he was closing in on Lavi, and what of course made the latter believe his plan would work. "That's right! Come to me, Yu, and let's- YOW!"

Kanda had laid a nice, strong smack onto Lavi's head and glared at him. "Work. Now," he hissed. By now he had to _fight_ himself to keep the cold expression on though.

Lavi whimpered silently and looked up, then suddenly flashed a grin. "Sure thing," he said happily and grabbed Kanda's arm, pulling him down with all his strength.

The Japanese landed on the laundry with a soft thump, and immediately sat up, looking absolutely disgusted. "This is _so_ gross," he grumbled drearily and turned to Lavi, raising his voice, "You'd better have a damn good reason-"

He couldn't finish his sentence as Lavi's lips covered his, and the redhead gently pushed him back down onto the clothes. The kiss was wet, warm and loving, like it usually was, and also soft, what happened a little more rarely as both of them liked a little bit of roughness every now and then. Kanda protested. No, he wasn't against some making out or a bit more. He was against it happening the pile of fucking dirty clothes. It was disgusting and shameful, and had the mood of a really bad brothel - or at least that's how he saw it.

Lavi caught Kanda's arms with a swift move and kept him from escaping, deepening the kiss. Oh, this was just perfect. He'd always wanted to do something inappropriate with Yu in some inappropriate place, and this was just about what he wanted. Of course, he wanted the Japanese to enjoy this as well, so he tried not to hold him too roughly while his tongue explored the other's mouth.

Eventually they both ran out of air and the kiss broke. Lavi smiled at Kanda and poked his nose. "So? How 'bout this?" The latter glared. Lavi leaned down towards the samurai's ear, his voice growing into a whisper. "I want you so badly, Yu. Right _now_. Come on..please?" Kanda couldn't stop his ears from turning red, though he kept glaring up at the redhead, he didn't look as threatening as before. Lavi's smile widened. Normally, he was physically stronger than Kanda just a bit, just how the latter was quicker and more agile, but at the moment, probably out of the amusement, he seemed to have let his guard down, and Kanda didn't waste the opportunity.

"Ouf," Lavi let out as his back was shoved into the clothes, Kanda now on top of him. "Ah, Yu, ya wanna ride me or something?"

The Japanese twitched again. "Get your mind out of the gutter," he snarled.

The redhead grinned again and reached up, and before Kanda could react, his hairband was pulled out and his hair fell loose, cascading down his shoulders like a black smooth curtain. In fact, no one had more beautiful hair in the Order...not even Lenalee.

Kanda narrowed his eyes and glared down at Lavi. "It stinks here. We're going to bath. And changing clothes. Now," he barked, pulling the latter's headband off. Just how could the redhead find this setting appealing? That was mystery to him. Then again, Bookman Junior also liked keeping sandwiches in his pockets despite of all other utterly disgusting or annoying habits, such as grabbing Kanda's ass first thing in the morning before even waking up. So Kanda was more or less used to Lavi's antics. That didn't mean he had to be supportive of them, though.

"Well, if we're going to bathe and change clothes anyway, I'd say we dirty ourselves more first," Lavi exclaimed happily and quickly flipped them over, pushing Kanda down once again with a contented expression. "Sorry Yu, I like it better this way." He quickly undid the buttons of the latter's shirt and lightly massaged his chest, while looking at him expectantly for confirmation it was alright to do this.

::

Kanda struggled for a moment, then glared up, trying to ignore how the touches made him feel. Well, there was a good point. Then again, he wasn't going to just take it. Not after Lavi's inspection of Lenalee's underwear. He'll probably feel way embarrassed about this later...but at the moment, he was starting not to care anymore, especially when Lavi's lips touched his neck. "Do you have, uh, lube?" he asked suddenly.

Lavi blinked, stopping for a moment. That was something he hadn't thought of. Oh well...they didn't always have it in the past either, did they? "Er.."

"You'd better pull some out of anywhere, or you'll be the one in need of it," Kanda threatened, looking up seriously.

The redhead snickered. Just how did Kanda plan on toppling them over again? He wasn't going to space out anymore. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle," he said and planted series of butterfly kisses on the samurai's neck, and adding a couple of rougher ones which he knew would leave marks - even if they would disappear in a few hours, given Yu's quick healing. In fact, that healing of his helped him to stop limping in less than a day after being on the receiving end of their 'activities'.

Kanda scowled. He didn't think so. However now strength wouldn't do any good...he had to find a way to distract Lavi again. Which wasn't easy, as the redhead was doing quite a good job fondling him, and soon the Japanese found himself out of his shirt and shoes, and Lavi was kissing his chest while fluffing his hair lovingly. Yeah. Did he really want to interrupt this? Maybe not.

But he had principles. Lavi couldn't always get what he wanted, right? And Kanda had just the idea.

He let out a silent soft sigh at the caressing and stopped struggling, instead wrapping his arms around Lavi's shoulders and burying one hand in his hair. He arched his back a bit, pressing himself closer to the redhead. The latter was a little surprised, however Kanda's actions did make him even more aroused. He raised his head a bit, only to see Kanda's expression - which was uncommonly soft, his half-closed eyes looking at Lavi through his eyelashes, his soft hair spread around, and his lips slightly parted. Lavi was actually surprised he didn't come from the mere sight, and quickly leaned in to kiss the dark-haired beauty on the lips, for the moment forgetting that Kanda acting this agreeable always meant trouble. "Shit, Yu," he whispered, breaking the kiss for a moment, "you're so fuckin' beautiful n' hot I could eat you." He continued the kiss, not feeling Kanda's lips curve into a slight smirk. Lavi was losing his focus again, and he was about to end up on his back..this time, hopefully, permanently.

However, Kanda didn't get a chance to put his Great Plan into action. Lavi had one small problem even in moments like these... He never knew when to shut up.

Right now, he broke the kiss once again and snickered breathlessly. "You know, Yu, Lenalee's panties might just fit you," he said, poking Kanda's nose again. "It would be the hottest thing anyone has ever seen."

Alright, that was it. No one was insulting Kanda's manliness like this. He twitched heavily, his strength suddenly doubling, and in a split moment, Lavi was down on his back, Kanda was sitting on top of him, and Mugen's tip was poking at Lavi's throat.

The redhead gulped. Did he push it too far? Kanda with Mugen unsheathed meant serious fucking business. And he knew better than to mess with him in a situation like this, so he kept completely still. And the Japanese had purposely sat right on top of his dick, and given his current condition it was rather painful, not to mention the stimulation given by the fact that Kanda's ass was right above it, just behind the inpenetrable wall of clothing. Bad, very bad time for getting his lover pissed-off. Lavi groaned silently and looked at Kanda almost pleadingly.

"Sorry, Lavi," Kanda said almost sweetly, looking at him and still holding the sword at the ready. If he'd promised Lavi would get it if there was no lube, he was going to carry it out. "Not this time."

::

Lavi cursed silently under his breath. Well, it could probably be worse...right? He nervously eyed the blade tip next to him. Kanda wasn't _that_ mad at him, was he? "Take that away," he whined.

"Not yet." Kanda got up from him a bit, wearing a triumphant expression. "I'm going to _make sure_ you think of _me_ while fucking with me, and not of some kind of a sick Lenalee's panties fetish." Lavi yelped silently as the blade poked him again. Okay, he was guilty, he shouldn't have teased Kanda. What now? "Undress."

The redhead blinked and stared up at the samurai. Did he hear right? He was all the more confused by the smirk Kanda was wearing. If it wasn't Kanda, he would have probably called it perverse. Now it was just really, _really_ contented.

"Hurry up."

Hm, maybe this was quite hot after all, Lavi decided, grinning again. "Yes boss," he chirped, and quickly threw off his shirt, then proceeded to kick off his boots.

"Pants too."

"Eh...right." Lavi swallowed a little, but he couldn't help but think that this was exactly the kind of Kanda he had fallen in love with. Possessive, blunt, and straight-to-the-point. Hm...talking about straight to the point, his aim wasn't so bad, considering that he didn't get to top as often as Lavi.

"I'm waiting."

Lavi was thrown out of his daydream by a poke of something sharp to his side, and quickly lost the rest of his clothing.

"Very good," Kanda said, still wearing the same expression and eyeing Lavi up and down, apparently really proud of his job. It might have been just him, but he always found Bookman Junior's look very exotic - that must have been an important part of the attraction. Kanda loved Lavi's red flamy hair the most, but his green eye, his lightly tan-tones kin, his several small scars were all great too. As well as his...yeah. Kanda could feel his own corresponding part becoming impatient. Lavi looked back at him, smiling.

"So, you just gonna admire my boner, or are you gonna do something about it?"

"Right," Kanda answered, his expression souring a little as his moment of victory was interrupted. "Get down."

Lavi grinned widely, founding this way of a 'game' really amusing. "Aye aye, sir."

"Stop that."

"Alright, boss."

"And that."

"Aww."

::

Lavi was laying on top of the clothes pile again, and Kanda was sitting on him again, and he still had Mugen at hand. Lavi looked up at Kanda with a slight smirk. The other man really _was_ incredibly hot, especially while shirtless and with his hair loose like that, contrasting the pale flawless skin and - oh yeah, there was the part about his bitchy personality that was now poking him with Mugen. "Alright, undo _my_ pants now."

The redhead licked his lips unconsciously and busied his fingers with Kanda's belt. Soon it was out of the way, and the Japanese got up for a moment to get his pants out of the way. Then he settled as comfortably as possible between the redhead's legs, making sure to keep him down with his free arm, and only then put Mugen away.

"Spit," he demanded, holding a hand in front of Lavi's mouth.

"You can't be serious."

"No shit."

Well, it was possibly best not to annoy Kanda any further, as Mugen was voyeuring on them from a very close position and the samurai could reach it any moment he wanted. And Lavi wasn't too keen on getting hurt...well, _more_ than he was going to be.

So he complied, and as soon as he did, Kanda leaned down to kiss him on the lips, while his one hand was working its way down. It felt good, and helped the redhead to bear the uncomfortable feeling in his lower side once Kanda's fingers made their way in.

By now, Kanda had stopped feeling contented, even if he had accomplished what he wanted, _and _he was getting to top. No, now all that was left was love and lusting for the, in his eyes, the _exotic_ beauty below him - ironically, that was just how Lavi saw him with his _black_ hair and eyes, since they both had different origins.

_'Next time I'll repay him with interest,' _Lavi thought, burying his hands in Kanda's silky hair as his lover finally slid into him while kissing his neck. It hurt like hell, but he could stand it. Maybe carrying around some proper lube all the time was a good idea...damnit. It still felt good.

And then there were more kisses, and moving, and moans, and sweat, and in the end Lavi didn't manage to think of any more sweet revenge plans as all he could do was cling to Kanda for dear life and roll his hips up, not for a second considering how badly he was going to limp next day and how badly Bookman will kick his already sore ass for it. Kanda didn't really think about anything either, he managed to pant out another threat about what would happen to Lavi if he kept pulling his hair, but he never carried it out. The two had connected into one balanced, hot and whimpering form, and it felt good, and at the moment nothing else mattered, until both of theirs building up excitement exploded right at the same moment, and the movement fell apart.

Kanda carefully pulled out, actually trying not to hurt Lavi, and slumped next to him, wrapping an arm around the redhead. He actually acted quite caring compared to his usual stoic persona sometimes - especially when he'd be the one getting advantage of Lavi, and that was quite rare. "Told you," he whispered, still catching his breath.

Lavi couldn't bother to think what this was referring to, probably about Kanda refusing to be done without lube, and sighed happily. "Yuuu," he drawled sleepily with a light smile.

Kanda didn't seem irritated about the use of his first name at all.

"Why don't we rest for a bit before continuin' the work.." Lavi was slurring his words more than usual, he was clearly about to fall asleep. "N' after tha' we can get some fresh clothes and take a shower together.."

"Yeah," Kanda grumbled silently, though his tone wasn't as sharp as usually. That was all he said though. Maybe because he didn't know what was planned for him in the shower...then again, who knows.

"I love Yu," Lavi insisted, turning onto his side and wrapping an arm around the Japanese as well. His backside felt really uncomfortable but he felt too tired to care, just pulled out whatever cloth under his ass had gotten wet and threw it to the side.

Kanda actually had to keep a tiny hint of a smile in. Yeah, he knew it. And of course, he would never say it. Instead he grunted silently and after a few moments, turned his head and put a small kiss on Lavi's hair.

Lavi's smile widened, this was more of an answer than he could ever expect.

And in a few moments, they both peacefully fell asleep.

::

After some time passed, a girl holding a laundry basket walked up to the laundry room and knocked on the door. "Kanda? Lavi?" she called. She knew they were completing their punishment here, maybe she'd help them a bit too as she was bringing them even more work.

No answer.

Lenalee knocked on the laundry room's door again, frowning a little bit. _'Strange..'_ she thought, _'Weren't they supposed to be here by now?'_

"Lavi? Kanda-kun?" she called out again, opening the door and glancing inside.

The sight nearly made her drop her laundry basket.

Both Kanda and Lavi were a little less than naked, heavily asleep in the pile of dirty laundry partly covered by numerous shirts and pants; their legs entwined and their arms wrapped around each other. Their looks were peaceful - even Kanda's, for him that is - and they were radiating some kind of happy and love, and it was just too simple and obvious to be disturbing.

"I'll just...leave it here then," Lenalee muttered, her face suddenly red, and put the basket down next to the laundry pile's feet. She didn't even notice her own panties laying on the very top of the pile. The basket contained what looked like _more_ of Lenalee's underwear, a pair of underwear that looked like Allens, several shirts that were clearly Allen's, and a sheet. Talk about blackmail material..not to mention overprotective brothers not related by blood, as if a single real one wasn't enough. Yeah, maybe it's better that Lavi and Kanda were asleep when she brought it, Lenalee thought as she send one last glance to the gay - in this case, meaning 'happy' - pair. Yeah, she'll be considerate and not tell anyone - that doesn't mean she won't ask _them_ details later. "Sweet dreams."

She closed the door.

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_**THE END**_

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End file.
